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Deep Cuts: Gwar

Posted by Morgan Ywain Evans on Tuesday, March 25, 2014 at 9:28 AM (PST)


Slaves! It is only fitting that with the passage of Oderus Urungus into the maw of Gor Gor that we celebrate the earthly misdeeds of Gwar to the fullest with a Deep Cuts/Metal Riot tribute. In some ways, despite being loved and loathed Gwar were always underrated. The band was such a creative effort over the years. Brockie was a one of a kind maniac who knew how to push people’s buttons and stay in the media. Go Redskins!

I read years ago some bullshit that said they weren’t good musicians and had just recycled Slayer riffs. At the risk of taking shit I will say Gwar is much less of a one trick pony than Slayer (who I love, obviously). But Gwar have comedy, social critique, theatrics, great riffs, movies, many musical styles from “The Road Behind” to “Madness at the Core of Time”. A whole universe of characters. Shit, the only shirt of mine my mom actually took offense enough to douse with gasoline and BURN was my Gwar ‘I died on the flesh column’ Skulhedface t-shirt.

I remember a college class we had to share memories of Princess Diana and all I had was Gwar beating her to death with J. Benet Ramsey then decapitating and sodomizing O.J. Simpson. I will also never forget being pulled over in NJ in Asbury Park covered in fake Gwar blood with my friends after a Stone Pony show. Suddenly 8 (!!!) cop cars surrounded us and thought we had all killed someone. Thank God they didnt find the katana sword and drugs incidentally in the trunk, but I remember a butch lady cop groped my friend’s junk and we teased him. I also remember walking into the Stone Pony at that show and they kicked on red lights as the band blasted into “Ham On The Bone” from AMERICA MUST BE DESTROYED (a ballsy title if ever there was one). Blood was flying everywhere and I felt like I had entered a realm of pure madness! Shit, I remember when I first got the tape of that album from a friend and I was actually scared of the band at first before I became a real metalhead. “The Morality Squad” stands up alongside the best of The Dead Kennedys as a perfect indictment of the Bush/Reagan and the Democratic party led PMRC bullshit witch hunts against anyone different enough to say “Fuck You” in a damn metal or rap song. Diiiickbags!

Light up your crack rocks and hail Gwar. They were the first metal band to play Antarctica, Lars! “Have You Seen Me?” was the first bassline I ever learned to play!

Click HERE for the Gwar tunes that made this Deep Cuts Gwar-ticle. RIP Oderus!

1.“Rock N Roll Never felt So Good”: I have a soft spot for America Must be Destroyed. The opening first three song blitzkrieg of ‘Ham On The Bone”, “Crack In The Egg” (best breakdown riff ever besides “Temple Of Sickness” by Candiria) and the almighty anthem “Gor Gor” will never be equaled. “Rock N Roll Never Felt So Good” is the most vile song ever, however. Snorting coke off a pre-pubescent, quadroplegic groupie? Using frozen poop as an anal dildo? I mean…damn. And that riff is pure classic rock awesome. Hey, it aint the Beatles.

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2. “Back To Iraq”: Shock and Awe! Gwar pre-empted the second Iraq War on Carnival Of Chaos as well as killed many mutant penguins. This song was a lot more fun than any policy foolishly enacted by George W. Fuckwad. Seriously, we should have just sent Gwar in for a Saddam A Go Go and saved the USA the embarassment of W and the post 9/11 abortion of democracy. Plus, this song burns!

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3. “Get Into My Car”: Only Gwar could pull of a metal Billy Ocean cover, a late career triumph of audacity and probable drug abuse on a massive scale.Oderus analyzing the lyrics of Billy Ocean in this clip is comedy gold.

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So many honorable mentions from late career metal face peeler “Triumph Of The Pig Children” to “Jagermonster” or “Cool Place To Park” to the classic “Warghoul”. This list coulda gone on and on. Sadly, it looks like Gwar has now gone the way of the X-Cops. FML.  If you want to mourn Metal Riot style we recommend esteemed staff member Nich Madl’s “Bloody Pit of Horror” which consists of Rye, blood orange, grenadine, habanero bitters in copious amounts. Incidentally, Nich also did one of the last interviews ever with Brockie for our site, which you can watch HERE.

This deli tray is unacceptable!!!!!!!!!!





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