Break Up

Enabler ex bassist details sexual assault allegations with Metal Sucks

Posted by Morgan Ywain Evans on Monday, July 13, 2015 at 6:09 PM (PST)

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I could hardly bring myself to write about this Enabler news today as it made a huge lump in my throat. I’m a big fan of this band and all their record’s are some of the best new music on the scene in years. I’ve interviewed Jeff Lohrber for New Noise Magazine and am pretty good friends with their frequent record cover artist Chris Smith who has done art for my bands GET OUT, Antidote 8  and Black & White Universe as well as many other band’s record or live poster art in the scene (Atlas Moth or Hindsight come to mind).

I wondered why Amanda wasn’t in the band anymore. This seems to clearly be why. I feel bad for Century Media to be dealing with this on the heels of Blake Crush drama. Or Earsplit PR who put a lot into these guys.

Metalsucks has the best editorial on the accusations HERE.

My heart goes out to Amanda Daniels, recent drummer Frank who everyone in the scene loves, and even to Jeff who I bet is in hell right now also. Whatever the truth of the matter, and I’m certainly not saying Amanda would make up the accusations, the fact is there is now a lot of pain and human grief attached to a band that was prior to this a new leading light for inspired, dissonant and often political and powerful music. Why does the fucked up shit always happen with bands I like most like Nachtmystium, Enabler or once a long upon a time ago Coheed (who are nothing musically on the first two, even if they are a good band).

I’ve personally had a turbulent life at times. When I was 15 I semi broke into a person’s home scared and  tripping balls. I got lost and  screamed and knocked them down thinking I was dead, pushing past the woman who answered door and trying to hide behind a couch. Then got maced by cops while tripping when they arrived that horrible Winter Solstice half my life ago. I often think of how scared house owner must have been when i pushed past her screaming. I’ve been in abusive relationships where I, as a man, was hit often by a woman and struck them back once after the literally dozenth time and a cutting barb a few days later. My anger and sense of victimization didn’t excuse my action of hitting her back. I thank lucky stars every day both she and I matured and now have a healthy friendship and deep bond.

I’ve burned sage at sites where people I know where raped, with them…to banish demons. Sang on this Pontius Pilate Sales Pitch anti rape song “A Slow dance in hell”.

Flipside. Had syringes thrown at me as darts by partners. My foot run over. Woken up getting “used” or getting oral by people and didn’t mind AND other times by people I DID mind (though consent is ALWAYS important). I’m illustrating this as a bi sexual male somewhere on this rainbow spectrum we all inhabit, to just try and say a little prayer here for everyone. Just sending so much love to all of the people in this mess and whatever the truth is hope they can find healing. I have been in a place before of having hurt a person and of having been hurt or being an activist and hosting Pro Choice and really pro female benefit shows or promoting bands with strong woman to show the trolls in the scene that girls are just as important as boys. I was in a psych ward and also closeted for near 30 years as bisexual, not feeling safe to step out of my shell and feel exposed…until FINALLY coming out in this interview with OTEP, who emboldened me. Or metal scribe Kim Kelly who has no idea how much her writing for gender equality in metal has influenced me to try and do a similar thing and use my own weird voice in, hopefully, a posi way.

I’ve talked gender issues with Mina Caputo who came from a “tough guy” family and who saved my life without ever meeting me through Life of Agony’s classic and somehow life affirming suicide themed album River Runs Red.

My heart is pretty broken by this today but it also really makes me want to try and stop conflicts in my own life, even though I have been in a big rekindled feud with Coheed & Cambria again last week, perhaps due to a misunderstanding and perhaps not (and much of it because I feel like they bullied my sister Cambria and me by not having fans apologize when Claudio Sanchez didn’t ever reveal band was named after my sister and so she was called a liar or presumed to have fucked all of Coheed by charming CoTF alumni over the years) .

Either way, in any circumstance we can all aspire to handle ourselves with grace, even when we’re angry or hurt or lonely. There has to be a better way then the continued cycle of pain, like in Middle East. Let’s try and liberate ourselves from hate, Support the FEMEN international and progressive causes. Learn about other genders and don’t hurt people, even when we perceive a major slight.

I’ve been technically also raped due to me being a minor and someone much older than me doing things to me when I was a teenager and on three bags of heroin in a power submissive position of being stranded far from home in the then much more violent NYC at house of older person. I’ve been a feminist for years.

Here’s a horrible story. Once when I was blacked out and grief stricken I even accidentally groped a friend  and have very little memory of it and it damaged our friendship and destroys me inside to this day, as they’d been a huge source of comfort to me when I was going through major trials after deaths in my family. A huge part of why I don’t drink is to think I scared someone that way , especially when that has happened to me or many people I’ve dated to much, much worse degrees that were nothing short of rape . Or because if I drink old trauma comes back up if I have too many. You lose filters.

Girls  and friends I loved were raped so bad by others that they cheated on me cuz they hated  men or wanted to sabotage our good relationship points as a “test”, because they resented men , and rightly so, after having been assaulted by others they trusted or in some cases strangers.

I have major, major trust issues from lots of this shit. It happens to guys AND girls. Life can be cruel as we learn from awful mistakes or try and wrestle with insecurities and the devil’s we create in our collective id.  People hurt each other or lie or don’t own harm they’ve inflicted on others because they can’t get objective without the House of Cards falling. We bully each other, we hide our insecurities and we swim in shark infested waters.

Please, let’s all try and respect each other as men and women, bands and peers, scenes and just as fucking humans in general. So much more we can all accomplish if we can free ourselves from pain body, Samsara and the inner violence of jealousy, fear, anxiety and loathing of self and/or others. That’s all I’ve got.

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