Scumdog Millionaire: Inspirational quotes from Sleazy P. Martini

Posted by Morgan Ywain Evans on Wednesday, December 10, 2014 at 8:31 AM (PST)


Much like Rodney Dangerfield, the managers working tirelessly in entertainment get no respect. People are always whining about DIY being better and how management people are rip offs and con artists, but they miss out on the expertise a lifetime spent delivering the best in entertainment can offer. Only Gwar‘s Sleazy P. Martini has so tirelessly worked with the interests of his clients Gwar so earnestly in mind, with such benevolent…wait a minute, this crack is getting to me…Sleazy doesn’t give a shit about anybody…but, yeah…here are some mid week slingers from the best manager in the biz to zing up your work week.

Click HERE to be covered in wisdom (and for maybe the best political speech of all time).

By the way the credit for the name of this piece goes to Matt Goldpaugh from Lara Hope & The Ark-Tones (who has dressed as Beefcake for Halloween before, I recall).

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-(on continuing the band post-Oderus)
“One who is a lion tamer cannot suddenly decide to stop and ask his lions to become house cats. And GWAR’s lust for human carnage cannot properly be met in semi-retirement on the talk-show circuit. So the shows must go on.”

“We, the puppet masters, are getting quite pissed off for not getting any of the credit”

“Tried to tell us “give peace a chance”. Met the National Guard and ya shittin’ yr pants.”

[Sleazy tells the Story of how he found GWAR in Antarctica]
[after the GWAR Members are all thawed out]
Jizmak Da Gusha: Hey, where you think you at, huh?
Sleazy P. Martini: Hey hey, cool it guys, I was just looking for… a Pay Phone!
Oderus Urungus: [snarling] Yeah…
Jizmak Da Gusha: [Sleazy draws out his Shot gun, and Slymenstra snags it with her whip] Wooo, nothin Personal.
Himself(The Mighty, Beefcake): Yeah, you’d do the same I assure…
Guitarist: But wait, what of our Masters Prophecy
[Light Shines on him]
Guitarist: For whom ever shall awaken GWAR is…
[music starts fading]
Guitarist: is… is A O.K.
The Sexecutioner: [sniffing a bag of coke that Sleazy dropped] Sexcellent Point, Balsac!
Sleazy P. Martini: [pulls out more bags of coke] Blow, Blow? Yeah, sure you do, here, how bout you? Sleazy, Sleazy’s the Name!
Himself(The Mighty, Beefcake): What do we do?
Oderus Urungus: [sniffing coke] We align…
[sniff sniff]
Oderus Urungus: … with Sleazy!

Sleazy P. Martini: [after Sleazy's Limo accidentally knocks skateboarder to the ground] Get up You little fuck, here, I got something for ya…
[Hands Him a crack pipe]
Sleazy P. Martini: Ever smoke any of this? It’s o.k., GWAR smokes it all the time!
Skateboarder, Sleazy P. Martini: Geez Sleazy, d-do You really own GWAR?
Sleazy P. Martini: Yeah, I own GWAR, I’m der fuckin’ Manager!




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