Meg White chosen as new drummer of Slipknot

Posted by Morgan Y Evans - Walking Bombs on Saturday, January 18, 2014 at 12:18 PM (PST)

Well, this was unexpected.


In news sure to shock the metal community, it turns out Meg White has been out of the limelight since the White Stripes broke up because she has been plotting big things…becoming the new “Number 1” in Slipknot. It turns out White has always been a metal fan and that the mask will help her acute anxiety.

Comments Meg (turning down the Black Keys and putting down her Alison Mosshart voodoo doll):

“Maggots are white. How’s that for starters! I just wanted to call our 5th Stripes album ‘Satan’ but Jack insisted on adding the “get behind me…” part. Now Behemoth are getting all this press for ‘The Satanist’. I could fucking murder somebody. You want to hear an Icky Thump!? How about I smash you over the head with this tiny red drum kit! But yeah, that was the start of the end. It really caused a rift between me and Jack. I wanted to bring in elements to the Stripes to show where the blues eventually evolved…ass thudding metal! Throw in a Krokus or W.A.S.P. cover. But no! Jack was so always busy making guitars out of bird feeders. Well now I am “Number1″ in reality! Bitches will finally get to hear my speed and brutal finesse.”

According to sources (a dream I had), Meg has already penned a few contributions for the top secret next ‘Knot release. Working titles include “Raconteurs = Shit” and “Black Orchid”. Personally, I adore Meg and think this is going to be a lot of fun.

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