The poseurs were put soundly to bed, when Vision of Disorder fans danced on their heads…
While their have been death metal Christmas endeavors before and plenty of
movies where Santa was a killer or more tame fare like The Grinch, the joy of
Christmas can be confusing to metalheads. We thrive on depression and rage, or
at least wallow in dank cellars rolling in cold puddles and moaning as our
laundry piles up. But anyway…We decided to make your shopping easier this
year. Assuming you have anyone to shop for. If not, keep these babies to
yourself in the spirit of giving the darkness only to someone who will really
enjoy it. Cuz Santa all mixed up from strong nog spells Satan, and Satan is greedy!
But seriously, check out our list of neat stuff. That is, if you haven’t spent all your shekles already on punk rockers Bad Religion’s always weird yet surreal and awesome Christmas music from a few years ago (since, ya know, Christmas is kind of associated with religion! And Starbucks!!).
Gift ideas BELOW!
12. Honestly you could get most of your Xmas Shopping done at Branca Studios Big Cartel and everyone would still think you put a lot of thought into it. From prints to dope shirts to bags, they have so much cool shit.
11. Nothing says Christmas like a cool synthy horror soundtrack to a Belgian movie that was a moderate hit about a cub scout and a feral child! Steve Moore from Zombi did a fantastic job on this freaky score and someone you know needs to bug out listening to it alone for Christmas. Yes, the CUB soundtrack is amazing.
10. Danzig IS Christmas. I mean, not really. At all. But someone you know needs to hear his rendition of “Action Woman” along with hits by Elvis, Black Sabbath and The Troggs while they make pie. I personally did not mind the rawer production on this thing and the song choice was pretty inspired. Like, he didn’t cover Rihanna or anything. Whatever. Danzig rules. Get it HERE.
9. Grog Rox from one of our favorite hard rock/gothy alternative/metal bands Die So Fluid has a great Etsy shop for jewelry! She has affordable and beautiful stuff that she makes and I got my mom a lovely moon pendant she is going to like. Grog rules! Great for a one of a kind present for someone who is fancier.
8. Choosing Death is essential reading for any death metal or grind fan. If you don’t have Mudrian’s masterpiece then you need it anyway and the revised and expanded bad boy has Dan Seagrave art and is only $30. Pick me up one because mine is currently lost in my room since I did laundry. I am in the middle of re-reading the early Morbid Angel years.
7. The Art of Krampus is a book about the movie about the legend. Check it out HERE. Seems pretty cool.
The Art of Krampus takes a look at how this terrifying character inspired the filmmaker and Legendary Pictures to create a movie that captures the dark side of the holidays. With fascinating concept art and unit photography showcasing the most thrilling, suspenseful, and horrifying moments of the movie alongside insightful commentary from the cast and crew, this deluxe coffee-table book details all that went into crafting Dougherty’s eagerly-awaited Yuletide horror film.
6. Pretty Deadly from Image Comics and creators Kelly Sue Deconnick and Emma Rios, is flat out amazing. Get Vol. 1 HERE and let’s keep this book going. It’s got the edge of “anything could happen” that the Saint of Killers character brought to Preacher with the lush colors and elegance of Fables and a delicate but barren and deadly thin line art style to die for. Pegging itself as a spaghetti manga, the book deals with death’s daughter and will appeal to fans of everything from Neil Gaiman’s The Sandman‘s dreamy poetry to Stephen King’s The Dark Tower. It’s dark and suspenseful, life and death in the balance.
5. Five golden KIIIIINGS! Anthrax! Pre-order the new album For All Kings, ya fuck!
4. Divine Circles is the string-centric solo venture of USX’s Meg Mulhearn. While not exactly evil, the songs are super haunting, obscure and memorable like a lingering dream. Check the material out HERE.
3. Someone you know needs the Leviathan 2x vinyl and art box edition of Scar Sighted. Shit, get it for me! You can get this dark masterpiece in different forms HERE.
2. The holidays can be a pain. Thus, what better gift than some Lionheart? Their new single is called “Pain”! And features lyrics about working three jobs, which anyone buying a shitfuck ton of Christmas gifts is probably doing! Anyway, the Cali hardcore band have a new record due out and you could I guess pre-order it for someone like the Anthrax record and tell them they have something to look forward to after the holidays when it drops, haha. But in the meantime you can get them an instant download of the frst single!
Pre-Order digitally w/ iTunes and get an instant download of ‘Pain’:
1. If you truly love someone and can’t find anymore Starbuck’s polar bear cookies, the ultimate gift is the new Emperor complete works set. It’s friggin’ expensive and they will have to wait about half a year for it (which is funny), but holy shit:
LIMITED TO 222 COPIES WORLDWIDE!
Release date is in mid-2016, after the set is fully manufactured!
The entire catalogue of one of the most important black metal bands in history, from their inception in 1991 until 2016.
ULTRA-CLEAR VINYL EDITION
• All recorded works by Emperor from their inception in 1991 until the year 2016.
• All works specifically remastered for vinyl and cut at 45-RPM for optimum fidelity.
• 24-LPs + one 7″ – the largest metal box set of all-time and the second largest vinyl box set of all-time, containing over 10 hours of music on heavyweight 200-gram audiophile virgin vinyl LPs.
• 10 ultra-heavyweight 425gsm triple gatefold jackets with black flood inner printing, metallic silver pantone printing, die cuts, spot glosses, and more; alongside 26 heavyweight 250gsm ‘disco bag’ inner sleeves; 4 printed inserts; and one heavyweight 425gsm 7″ gatefold cover.
• 92-page hardcover book with silver foil stamp, featuring brand new text written by Dayal Patterson and with hundreds of rare band photos.
• All jackets and sleeves printed with ultra-fine anti-scratch matte lamination finish.
• Heavyweight board two-piece outer box.
• Three posters (one from Nightside, one from Anthems, one from IX Equilibrium)
• One turntable slipmat.
Vinyl audio contents:
• “Wrath of the Tyrant” (1992) LP.
• “Rehearsal 1992” (1992) LP.
• “Emperor EP” (1993) LP.
• “The Akkerhaugen Tapes” (1993) LP.
• “In the Nightside Eclipse” (1994) 2xLP.
• “As the Shadows Rise” (1994) 7″.
• “Reverence” (1997) LP.
• “Anthems to the Welkin at Dusk” (1997) 2xLP.
• “IX Equilibrium” (1999) 2xLP.
• “Emperial Live Ceremony” (2000) 2xLP.
• “Prometheus: The Discipline of Fire & Demise” (2001) 2xLP.
• “Live Inferno” (2009) 3xLP.
• “Live at Wacken 2006: A Night of Emperial Wrath” (2009) 3xLP.
• “Bonus Tracks & Rarities” (2016) 3xLP. ***
*** The “Bonus Tracks & Rarities” triple LP features:
LP1 – All four songs by Emperor from the “Thorns vs. Emperor” split.
LP2 – Seven songs of Emperor covering other bands (Bathory, Celtic Frost, Hellhammer, Mercyful Fate, Darkthrone, and Mayhem).
LP3 – Eight alternative versions of Emperor songs, either remixed or re-recorded.
For those who order in 2015 only:
• “Wrath of the Tyrant” original cassette tape recreation.
• Autographed lyrics sheet. Side one features the first time the lyrics for “Wrath of the Tyrant” and “Lord of the Storms” are released – a recreation of the original typed lyrics sheet by Mortiis in 1991. Side two features hand-written lyrics by Ihsahn from “Inno a Satana.” The lyrics sheet will be autographed by the main band members.
********** PLEASE NOTE – the ordering terms for this box set are different than normal. All payments must be made via bank transfer, international bank check or money order, or well-concealed cash. All payments must be received within two weeks of checkout. There are extra fees for certain payment methods. There will be no credit cards or PayPal accepted on this box.
********** PLEASE NOTE – this box was incredibly complex to put together and is now manufacturing. It will be released in mid-2016, and we ask that the utmost patience is upheld. Public updates will be made via the label Facebook as information is received from the plant.
********** PLEASE NOTE – for the purest vinyl experience, it is recommended to purchase only black vinyl. This recommendation comes directly from the plant. There are few to no issues with colored vinyl but those with particularly sensitive ears are advised to purchase black vinyl only. No refunds or exchanges will be given for natural vinyl pressing artifacts.
So yeah, hopefully this helps some of you filth encrusted maniacs have a better December. I know it was half pre-orders so doesn’t really help but sue me and give me coal in my stocking.