Today Rolling Stone published a ridiculous 40 Greatest Stoner Albums Ever list. They should have called it “How to not get laid ever, except for The Chronic and one or two others on here.” They had some cool reggae picks but had fucking Beach House (no offense to them) but not Sleep or Cypress Hill? Like, wtf?!!! The list was pure dirt weed for the most part.
You don’t listen to Kraftwerk stoned. I love Kraftwerk but if you did that too blazed it would be like being stuck in an Atari game and not in a fun way. And Darkside Of The Moon is a way better LSD album. And RS, much as I love them, will never help put me in the rock n roll Hall of Fame I am betting (even though I fucking rule), so I am gonna call them out on putting Jimi Hendrix at number one on pretty much every list they ever publish. I LOVE Jimi. The first time I smoked I listened to Jimi w my pal Quil (RIP) and got so high I thought I was a mouse and then prayed to all the hot girls in Jnr. High because I thought I was dying and was sad I would never see their breasts as I was still a virgin (I think?) and then Quil threw water on me and made me play Sega Genesis to maintain my shit. But c’mon…you guys put Jimi number one for everything. You had a 40 greatest guitar players list without Dr Know from Bad Brains on it and no ROIR tape on this pothead list when EVERY SKATER PUNK in the world has blazed and skated to Bad Brains!
Anyway, I fixed the list. Now, I am not gonna say this is “The Greatest EVER” because to each their own high, but I could have had every Kottonmouth Kings release on here and it would be more accurate. Shit, there is an Instagram video of my friend Darla singing “High On The Beach” by Lana that is better than most of the RS choices.
Anyway, here are my top 40 picks that I came up with in a half hour and are better. I did not put Afroman “Because I Got High” on it, but there is a lot of metal. Shit, as my dear friend Laurie Safdie said ,”They should have put the entire Man’s Ruin back releases on it.”
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