Search Results for "Funny"

Oh, Sleeper not losing Shane Blay

Posted by Morgan Ywain Evans on Saturday, April 19, 2014 at 4:24 PM (PST)

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Oh, Sleeper vocalist/guitarist Shane Blay was announced as the new singer of the Wovenwar project, also featuring members of As I Lay Dying not guilty of tragically poor murderous lapses of character or still awesome Ahhhnold parody metal. Wovenwar is going to be pretty cool but fans of Oh, Sleeper worried it spelled the end for the popular band.

“To put to rest the rumors that I’m leaving Oh Sleeper I tell you this: Micah and I started this band 8 years ago and have stayed with it through the thick and thin. That is still the case. Its tattoo’d on my chest for crying out loud. As long as Oh Sleeper is a band, I’ll be in it.” – Shane Blay
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Fit For An Autopsy announce new singer Greg Wilburn

Posted by Morgan Ywain Evans on Wednesday, April 16, 2014 at 6:31 AM (PST)
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This from the FFAT boys Facebook:
It only took 7 years, but Fit For An Autopsy has inevitably been “Nate Johnsoned”. If you know anything about his past you know that we were left with with out a singer, at the worst possible time. So with out anymore bullshit or banter, we are happy to welcome Greg Wilburn (oblige, the devastated) to the Fit For An Autopsy team. We will be doing all the tours that have been announced, Including New England Metal and Hardcore fest and all the shows surround it. #natesfuckingoutgregsfuckingin
Glad they didn’t get derailed by this, cuz they are a killer band. Good luck, homies.
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Top Ten most metal classic RPG characters

Posted by Morgan Ywain Evans on Wednesday, March 19, 2014 at 9:31 PM (PST)

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Kids today want to be on Instagram and listen to mall core instead of playing D&D and listening to death metal. Poseurs! You probably have never even heard of “Tasha’s uncontrollable hideous laughter”, you selfie taking tramps and bro-step dweebs!

Thankfully there is hope. Even Madonna is getting into dressing up like Game of Thrones now that she is a cool mom. Still, Game of Thrones is great and all but the lack of any real good adaptations to film or tv of classic Advanced Dungeons & Dragons worlds is pathetic. The Dragonlance cartoon was horrible and had terrible animation. The D&D movie with Jeremy Irons was a joke (and he is a great actor). Lord of the Rings is still going strong as a franchise and there are plenty of geeks who grew up on TSR/Wizards of the Coast RPG worlds like Spell Jammer, Forgotten Realms, Dragonlance, Dark Sun or Greyhawk. Can we please get a good version of something from one of these properties? Make them grim and awesome! Ogres! Umber Hulks! Boobs! C’mon!!!

Anyway, in a fit of geek rage I compiled an educational list of some of the most truly metal and bad ass characters in the history of AD&D role playing worlds. I have even paired them with a character appropriate metal song for you dorks out there. Put down your girlfriends (if you have one) and pick up some twenty sided dice!

To read the top ten metal AD&D character list click HERE.

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A7X announce Madly In Anger For Those About to Rattleheads tour

Posted by Morgan Ywain Evans on Tuesday, February 18, 2014 at 10:12 AM (PST)

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Avenged Sevenfold are a much bigger band than most of the bands I really enjoy (Sister’s Disguised Vulture‘s kills this shit!). Hitting it big doesn’t mean that you automatically suck or whatever. They have certainly worked hard… and I have to say I think the recent debate over Hail To The King borrowing liberally (see…A7X are liberal now!) from every major hard rock hit ever started an interesting conversation about how much influence is too far. I think the problem is that A7X cited classic bands as their influences and wanted to hearken back to classic metal but then seemed to some to mumble and act like they magically really wrote the riffs on Hail To The King rather than shuffle a few riffs here and there.

That said, M. Shadows probably gave the performance of his career on Hail To The King and does have a killer voice. The only tune that really bothered me on that album (besides the tolling bell and the spoken bridge in “Sandman of Fire”) was the blatantly Megadeth riff rip-off “Heretic”). The G n’ R inspired “Doing Time” was more fun than “Riad n The Bedouins” (and I like Chinese Democracy, frankly), while most of Hail To The King was pretty fun. It seemed like the band were cutting loose a bit and relaxing after all the seriousness of Nightmare. But yeah, when you are that big most stuff is pretty calculated. Time to own up, dudes. It’ll take a lot of the heat off.

Evile were clearly inspired by Metallica’s …And Justice For All on their fantastic Five Serpent’s Teeth disc, but the difference is they didn’t directly cop “greatest hits” riffs with some minor tweakery.

Anyway, “Sheperd of Fire” is a damn catchy tune vocally if you can ignore the Sandman of it all. A7X have decided to name their new tour the “Sheperd of Fire Tour” and it kicks off April 12th in British Columbia. Hellyeah are support on the tour. That’s right. A dude from Pantera is opening for A7X. Kill me now. Fuck, that makes me mad. And I don’t even hate A7X at all like some people, but that is just wrong.

Tour dates Below.

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Vday Love Metal Heart Melters

Posted by Morgan Ywain Evans on Friday, February 14, 2014 at 4:11 AM (PST)

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“Do you close your eyes with her and pretend I’m doing you again?” -Lzzy Hale

Click HERE for a top 5 countdown of some jams to warm your frozen hearts this Valentine’s Day.

Try and have fun in your mom’s basement with these romantic numbers to help you turn the pages on your crusty old Sears lingerie catalogue.

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Twelve Foot Ninja make burgers out of internet troll

Posted by Morgan Ywain Evans on Thursday, February 6, 2014 at 12:25 PM (PST)

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The more I have thought about it, I think Twelve Foot Ninja‘s “Aint That A Bitch” video (NSFW) is maybe the most ridiculous video I have seen in many years. I literally laughed my ass off watching it and had to glue my buns back on with crazy glue.  Have you ever wanted to get revenge on a stupid internet Troll? I don’t mean the ‘Enter Sandman” guy from the Metalsucks threads (he is hysterical. ‘Exit Liiight!!!!!!!!!)…I mean, the real haters who bring nothing to the table and live to rip down good bands.

Twelve Foot Ninja show us how to do it! Make burgers out of trolls! Now they need to tour with Trollfest and have a battle royale onstage!

Fans helped the Australian group raise over $52,000 to make the video, setting a world record for the most amount crowd-funded for a stand- alone music video! A gory tale of retribution against an internet troll, the wild video also features cameos from long-time friends/tour mates Periphery, as well as a Penthouse Magazine Pet.

This shit is super funny and fans of The Karate Kid, Rocky, low brow humor and great music should check it out HERE.

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Protest, Preach, Kill, Escape or “Just Rock”?

Posted by Morgan Ywain Evans on Wednesday, February 5, 2014 at 10:22 PM (PST)

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Let’s talk about reasons for rocking. Some bands wanna party and meet people to screw. Some want flying unicorns to befriend them on a castle facing a cliff made of diamonds. Some bands want to “just rock” and make people happy. Some want to further social change. Some bands want to sing “Worm Infested” and make you envision horribly rotten corpses of victims. IS one path better than the other or more “legit”/true?

Can music still change the world?

The following is a micro-study of metal motivations. Click HERE for more.

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Video: Sabaton plays concert at gym.

Posted by tyrusrunyan on Friday, January 31, 2014 at 8:57 AM (PST)

sabaton-logoSwedish power metal band Sabaton went ahead and played a show at the Må Bättre gym in Falun, Sweden on Saturday, January 25th. The band performed while taking part in a spinning class. Vocalist Joakim Broden told Dala-Demokraten newspaper the following: “We made special mic holders in order to be able to position them on the spinning cycle, Everyone, apart from our drummer, Hannes [Van Dahl], will [actively participate in] the class.”

You can see the video here.

Sabaton will be releasing its eighth studio album Heroes on May 16th via Nuclear Blast. The album will be a follow-up to their 2012 album Carolus Rex.

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The Bunny The Bear top Food Chain, tour with MSI

Posted by Morgan Ywain Evans on Friday, January 31, 2014 at 6:07 AM (PST)

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Victory has announced that THE BUNNY THE BEAR are back with their fourth and most “mature” album to date, Food Chain. I don’t know how dudes wearing a bear and bunny mask are mature, but they sure are fun. People either love or detest them so they must be doing something right! Fans of spazzy dance beats, metal riffing and good cop/bad cop/emo/furry love should check this out. I like the creepy album cover.

In celebration of the new album, TBTB is also excited to announce that they will hit the road this March as direct support to Mindless Self Indulgence (speaking of loved AND detested!). MSI are one of the best live bands ever and are always a blast, so this should be a lot of fun. Seriously, I remember the first time I saw Mindless years ago Jimmy threw bananas in the mosh pit to watch Orgy fans fall down. Can I get a witness?

Scary announcement video HERE (w new music).

Dates for the trek can be found below!

Meg White chosen as new drummer of Slipknot

Posted by Morgan Ywain Evans on Saturday, January 18, 2014 at 12:18 PM (PST)

Well, this was unexpected.

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In news sure to shock the metal community, it turns out Meg White has been out of the limelight since the White Stripes broke up because she has been plotting big things…becoming the new “Number 1” in Slipknot. It turns out White has always been a metal fan and that the mask will help her acute anxiety.

Comments Meg (turning down the Black Keys and putting down her Alison Mosshart voodoo doll):

“Maggots are white. How’s that for starters! I just wanted to call our 5th Stripes album ‘Satan’ but Jack insisted on adding the “get behind me…” part. Now Behemoth are getting all this press for ‘The Satanist’. I could fucking murder somebody. You want to hear an Icky Thump!? How about I smash you over the head with this tiny red drum kit! But yeah, that was the start of the end. It really caused a rift between me and Jack. I wanted to bring in elements to the Stripes to show where the blues eventually evolved…ass thudding metal! Throw in a Krokus or W.A.S.P. cover. But no! Jack was so always busy making guitars out of bird feeders. Well now I am “Number1″ in reality! Bitches will finally get to hear my speed and brutal finesse.”

According to sources (a dream I had), Meg has already penned a few contributions for the top secret next ‘Knot release. Working titles include “Raconteurs = Shit” and “Black Orchid”. Personally, I adore Meg and think this is going to be a lot of fun.

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Funny or Die and GWAR create GWARtoon

Posted by tyrusrunyan on Friday, November 15, 2013 at 7:45 AM (PST)

gwar-vinyl-sticker-eyeball-bat-logo-new-a3412Official press release:

For the last two years animators Myke Chillian and Tommy Meehan have been working with the members of GWAR to create a “GWARtoon” that was appropriately disgusting and objectionable enough to most accurately represent the most dangerous band in rock and roll history. After all this long and hard work, today Funny or Die finally premieres “The Animated Tales of GWAR”. Check it out here.

Animator Myke Chillian described “The Animated Tales of GWAR”:

“Lead singer Oderus Urungus loses his murderous-mojo prompting the rest of the band to embark on an Antarctic quest for the cure. Weird Al Yankovic guest stars.”

Brutal front-fiend Oderus Urungus had this to say about the project–“I hate cartoons…cartoons are for kids, and kids are strictly for eating. But I just might have to back up a little and say that this is the greatest cartoon ever, even if I still hate it, just because it’s about US.”

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Funny: Cannibal Corpse – “Hammer Smashed Face” (Radio Disney Version)

Posted by Johnny X on Tuesday, August 6, 2013 at 2:58 PM (PST)

cannibal-corpseHere’s something to put a grin on your wicked faces.  It’s a video for the “Radio Disney Version” of  Cannibal Corpse‘s song “Hammer Smashed Face” – a hilariously take on a classic tune from the Floridian masters of all things death and gore.

Yeah, yeah, its been around for a while but I thought it was worth revisiting.  Check it out here.

Cannibal Corpse’s latest album was titled Torture and released in 2012 under Metal Blade.  Torture was produced by Erik Rutan and is the follow up to 2009′sEvisceration Plague.

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Three songs mentioning “Christmas” and “Hell”

Posted by Morgan Ywain Evans on Monday, December 24, 2012 at 2:23 PM (PST)

Happy Ho Ho Ho. While it is undisputed that Christian Metalcore band August Burns Red’s Sleddin’ Hill pretty much kicks ass, we also should approach this “Christmas” thing from a “Metal” perspective and thus…three songs mentioning “Christmas” and “Hell”. Stop the Tivo of Clark Griswold hanging up Christmas Lights and click HERE (especially if you like Type O, Mours and Sixx:A.M.).

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Phil Anselmo interviews 50 Cent for BoxingInsider.com

Posted by SeanB on Tuesday, December 11, 2012 at 8:36 AM (PST)

If you didn’t already know (I didn’t) ex-Pantera and current Down frontman Phil Anselmo is a contributing writer for BoxingInsider.com and is by his own admission utterly and completely removed from pop culture. Interestingly enough, this time around Phil gets to interview rapper 50 Cent. Overall it’s a good read especially if you’re a boxing fan and pretty entertaining. It starts out like this:

“I am so far removed from pop-culture, it’s pitiful. My foundations (for those of you who know me) are well laid and stern to the point of outright deafening indifference . . . especially when it comes to boxing . . and music.

But fuck all that, that’s my problem.

So, with an intro like the above reads, I gotta say, when I was assigned an interview with 50-Cent, I had no clue who the man was.

Seriously.

Call me morbid, call me pale, call me a victim of pugilistic dementia, but I must say, speaking to this man was an interesting experience. I was beyond impressed with his smarts, his sense of humor, his accomplishments and his future plans.

Despite my hardheaded “opinions” when it comes to the music that pops up randomly on my i-pod, as people go, 50-Cent was, and is, a super class act, and deserves all the accolades he gets.”

To read the whole interview over at BoxingInsider.com click here.

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GWAR reveals details on new scumdog/guitarist and jams out to Kansas

Posted by SeanB on Tuesday, October 2, 2012 at 7:49 AM (PST)

The scumdogs of the universe GWAR have finally revealed the identity of their new guitar player as Pustulus Maximus and released several statements on the affair. If you don’t know, GWAR lost their guitarist Flattus Maximus (aka Corey Smoot) to a pre existing heart condition.

Pustulus had the following to say about joining the band:

“At this point I have nothing to say to the press, even though I am talking to you. I will let my guitar speak for itself. But let me add that I am blood-sworn to honor the legacy of the great Flattus and indeed the whole Maximus tribe. I didn’t come here to fuck around. HAIL FLATTUS!”

To read a press release about Pustulus’ origin ands a lengthy statement from Oderus Urungus himself click here.

You can also find a video of Pustulus shredding with GWAR to a song by…Kansas right here, along with upcoming tour dates right here.

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